spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize