Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize