i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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