Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize