it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
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