so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
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Dignity is for republicans.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
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Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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