somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
