Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
