I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
