I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
