FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
