Who wears a wallet chain?!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
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