yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
