Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
