Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
