So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
