I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
