That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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