All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Success! We fucked roommates!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
