You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
