my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
