I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize