I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
