i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
