I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
