I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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