I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
