I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
