p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
