just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
