i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
