i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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