My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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