i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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