"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
zippers are such a cool invention
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
