She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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