I haven't been this sober since birth.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
