So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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