Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
