Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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