Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
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