So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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