Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
