i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
