i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
