I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
