So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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