I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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