Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.