that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
then he tried to convert me to islam
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.