I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies