Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
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I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
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I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?