Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
