just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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