so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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