My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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