You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
