i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I have feelings that need drinking.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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